Nobody’s Child – Where to begin?

January 3, 2012 at 5:24 pm · Filed under Nobody's Child - My journey as an adoptee

As a parent, I tell each of my children ‘their’ story, of how much Mummy and Daddy wanted a baby, how doctors told me I had a 5% chance of getting pregnant. The story that led them to being here. It’s part of their history.

For my eldest, as I was 21, and the circumstances were different, she has had a different story. Funny thing is, she is 22, and we have just spent Christmas 2011 with my birth mother and her fiancee, and my eldest asked me questions about myself and her father I hadn’t thought to tell her. Yet they are similar to the questions I have asked and wanted to know, so I guess that all children have the same need to ‘know’ their story. And just because Mummy and Daddy didn’t stay together or a child was surrendered for adoption makes no difference. We all have a deep seeded need to KNOW. Hard for those who have always ‘known’ to understand.

My birth mother, E and my birth father, T, met at a Catholic Youth Group. Dated on and off. I was conceived on E’s 20th birthday. WHAT A GIFT !!!

The parish priest was called, of course, and it was decided E would be sent away. Notice, I said, it was decided and choose not to blame any one person in particular.

This was the 60′s Unwed mothers brought shame to the family. And the options that are here today were not there.

E remembers the last time she saw my father T. As a mother, I can not imagine for one moment what it could have been like. Afraid.

E was sent to another city, to strangers, for the duration of her pregnancy. She believed at the time, that her parents, my grand parents would be adopting me and that she and I would be raised as sisters.

While she stayed with these people, her recollection is of cleaning everyday and helping around the place and being reminded that what she had done was a SIN, and that she needed to be GRATEFUL that someone took her in.

It was an unplanned pregnancy. How many people at their age were sexually active and maybe even promiscious, yet never had to endure the constant reminder of their SIN?

Near the end of E’s pregnancy, she was placed with an Aunt and Uncle who owned a dairy.