9.32pm

Happy birthday my first born son.

My boy, a chuisle mo chroi!  (O Pulse of my heart)

My little one, who was born in the midst of carnage.

I remember the moment so vividly. So joyous, not knowing at the time how close we came to losing you.

Our precious son.

Our quiet, serious lad. You could read, yet would cover your face and yell ‘NO’ if anyone tried to speak to you.

I learned very early that you were marching to the beat of your own drum. I started walking it with you, only to find that this world likes to stick square pegs into round holes. I fought to allow you to be you. Who you are is precious.

I have cried a thousand nights, worrying for you, worrying how you will fit into this world.

I have rejoiced at the moments they told me I would never see.

You are a wise old soul with wisdom beyond your years and a purity and simpleness that pulls me back to love when I am out of line.

Living our life the way we have, has given me the opportunity to see you find your passion. Some call it obsession. We ignore people like that.

Every now and then, I see your brother beside you in my mind’s eye. We talk about what you would be doing. I know you both would give me a run for my money.

I have felt envy as I have heard you quietly talking and when I ask what you are doing, you tell me you are talking to your brother. Your different wiring gives you insight into a world I get only glimpses of.

You are a beautiful gift. I am trying to be the best Mum that I can be for you. I know I miss the mark sometimes, but you are so forgiving.

I hope this world never taints your pure soul, yet I know that as a pure soul, this world will only take advantage of it. I can only pray that there will be good people around you.

I love you son.

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1 Comment »

  1. Jayne said

    Beautiful 🙂

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