Another Day One about to take effect

So I haven’t seen or spoken to Arsehole Mentally abusive wanker the children’s father for just over a week.

I am vomiting less. YAY.

The anxiety levels have gone down. YAY.

My head is a widdle clearer. YAY.

Another thing I did was get rid of the man pet.

He was nice. He was a distraction.

I need to focus now.

I have to stop feeling so broken all the time.

So my next Day one is a liver cleansing.

I have been hitting the bottle a bit more than is healthy.

My last set of bloods said my liver wasn’t happy.

Upon talking with the doc, we worked out my diet is healthy enough (for once).

Then she asked how much I am drinking.

Not enough to say I think it is a problem, but enough to say it is too much.

The moment she asked me to knock it on the head is the moment I went the other way.

There is this “thing” inside my head that the moment I am TOLD anything, I say “Feck you” and do the opposite. Coz I can.

But who am I hurting here?

That would be me.

So I have knocked it on the head for a bit.

And today I bought some natural herbal thing and will be taking it for the next 2 months to cleanse my liver.

I just want to yell at myself “SORT IT OUT!”

We are doing ok, I am ok, yet this constant sadness that plagues me is wearing thin.

So another step in the programme of “You will not break me again MoFo” is about to be taken.

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4 Comments »

  1. river said

    Oh yes, please look after your liver, it’s such an important organ. And clever too. Minimal or moderate damage and it heals itself. Let it go too far and you are compromised for life. I’m glad you’re starting on a detox. You’ll feel so much better.

  2. Well done you 🙂 Stand tall and be proud honey, you are such a warm, vibrant lovable soul who deserves so much more (Hugs) – I have chosen not to drink with my meds as it says ‘limit alcohol’ on most of ’em. I don’t have a concept of ‘limit’ so thought it easier to give it up all together! Funny isn’t it, how the stress levels go down once fathers aren’t giving you grief 24/7. Hang in there you awesome chick 🙂 xoxo

  3. Ro said

    Just take it one step at a time and reward yourself often.
    You do deserve those rewards, y’know 😉

  4. I totally understand the ‘yeah? I will DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE!’ feeling.

    Good on you for realising that it was just hurting you. Every day you are becoming stronger and more fabulous.

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